HIS CHARACTER, A REAL MAN
Praying in submission for guidance and wisdom, a true sign of a real man
HIS CHARACTER, A REAL MAN
Praying in submission for guidance and wisdom, a true sign of a real man
03/15/25 PLM Patriot Lay Ministries
Also posted to PLM Patriot Lay Ministries an FEN Free Eagle Network property.
In cultures, societies, and religions there are many things that people, especially men make a standard that all men are measured by. There are three main points that are not made a standard.
Being Humble. Being Devoted. Being Grateful.
We’ll examine those three points. We’ll also examine how culture, society, and religion mislead boys and men.
Being Humble
The misleading of men in culture, society, and religion away from humility is a tangled mess worth digging into. At its core, it’s about how modern influences—whether through media, power structures, or warped spiritual teachings—pull men away from the grounded, self-aware state humility demands. Culture today often glorifies swagger over substance: think reality TV, social media flexing, or the hustle porn peddled by influencers. It’s less about quiet strength and more about loud self-promotion. Society’s no better—status gets tied to wealth, dominance, or clout, not character. Religion, when it goes off the rails, can do the same, turning faith into a performance of piety or a weapon for control instead of a call to bow low.
Scripture, like Proverbs 8:13—"The fear of the Lord is hatred of evil. Pride and arrogance and the way of evil and perverted speech I hate"—cuts through that noise. It’s a blunt rejection of the ego-stroking garbage that’s everywhere. Humility’s not weakness; it’s knowing your place in a bigger story. But culture sells the lie that you’re the star, society rewards the loudest chest-thumpers, and twisted religion can make men think they’re God’s enforcers instead of His servants. Look at the Pharisees in the New Testament—dudes draped in holy robes, obsessed with rules, yet Christ called them out for missing the heart of it. Same game plays out now: pride dressed up as virtue.
▫️ The Social Look At Me:
Many men in society are starving for attention. Social Media is full of them. Some take their culture and religion to the extreme. Some askew what masculinity means. The tend to use their physicality as a bench mark of masculinity. Look at me I have huge muscles and other certain-particular anatomical parts. This is called The Narcist. Always about them.
▫️ The Religious Pretender:
So caught up in pretending. They can’t even see they’re playing the same game as the rest of the world. They have to say certain catch phrases to be accepted and put on an act of holier than thou. They’re neither humble nor self-aware. To them they don’t recognize the smoke and mirrors game they’ve been led into. They cannot even acknowledge their own errors and faults.
▫️ The Cultural Shape-Shifter:
He will be anyone you want him to be. He does not care about principled character. He lacks morals and ethics. He certainly will do anything to get ahead including turn on his own friends and loved one. He’s more bi-polar in all areas of his character. Whatever the way the wind blows he’s there. His humility tank is at zero and his loyalty is on fumes. Being humbled means he’d have to crawl.
Being Devoted
The problem with men not being devoted in relationships ties into that same drift away from humility—only now it’s personal, not just cultural or spiritual. When men buy into the hype of self-first messaging from society—chasing status, notches on the bedpost, or just dodging accountability—it erodes the grit needed to stick with someone. Devotion’s not flashy; it’s showing up when it’s messy, unglamorous, or inconvenient. But culture’s got a megaphone blaring that you’re a king who deserves endless options, not a partner who owes loyalty. Think dating apps gamifying love or the “alpha male” podcasts pushing conquest over commitment—none of that breeds devotion.
▫️ Flip to the stats: the National Center for Family & Marriage Research pegged U.S. divorce rates around 40-50% for first marriages as of 2020, with infidelity and "irreconcilable differences" often cited.
▫️ Commitment’s taking hits, and it’s not all on men—women can check out too—but the stereotype of the wandering guy persists for a reason.
▫️ Proverbs 20:6 asks, “Many a man proclaims his own steadfast love, but a faithful man who can find?” Point is, talk’s cheap. Society’s obsession with instant gratification doesn’t help—why grind through a tough patch when you can swipe right or ghost?
Religion, when it’s real, pushes back. Ephesians 5:25 tells husbands to love their wives “as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her”—that’s devotion, not a fling. But if faith gets twisted into a power trip or a free pass, men can dodge that call too. The root? Pride again—thinking you’re above the work, above the sacrifice. Humility in relationships means owning your flaws and staying anyway, but that’s a hard sell when the world’s telling men they’re owed perfection without giving it. It’s a slow bleed: devotion fades when the focus shifts from “us” to “me.”
Being Grateful
Being ungrateful as a man in a relationship with a woman is a quiet killer—it’s like termites chewing through the foundation. It’s not always loud or obvious; it’s the eye-roll at her effort, the shrug at her support, or just taking for granted the small, steady ways she shows up. Culture feeds this trap hard: men get spoon-fed this idea that they’re entitled to a woman who’s a supermodel, chef, therapist, and cheerleader all in one, no reciprocity required.
▫️ Scroll social media or flip through TV—how often do you see the “nagging wife” trope versus the “ungrateful husband” called out? It sets a bar where her contributions get invisible, and he’s still griping about what’s missing.
▫️ Ungratefulness isn’t just bad manners; it’s a pride thing again. Proverbs 17:6 says, “Grandchildren are the crown of the aged, and the glory of children is their fathers”—flip that to relationships, and a man’s glory could be tied to how he honors what he’s got. But society’s wired men to chase the next shiny thing—new car, new fling, new win—instead of seeing the gold in front of them.
▫️ Studies, like from the Journal of Marriage and Family (2021), show gratitude in couples isn’t just fluff; it’s a glue. Partners who feel appreciated stick it out longer—makes sense, right? Who wants to pour into someone who acts like it’s nothing?
▫️ Real-world example: a guy’s got a woman cooking dinner after her 9-to-5, and he’s on the couch whining about the seasoning. That’s not just missing the point—it’s spitting on it. Faith kicks in here too—1 Thessalonians 5:18 says “give thanks in all circumstances.” Not because she’s perfect, but because gratitude shifts your lens.
Ungrateful men tank relationships by focusing on what they’re not getting instead of what they are. It’s a humility deficit: can’t value her if you’re too busy valuing yourself. Over time, she’ll either check out or blow up—either way, he’s left wondering why it fell apart when the answer’s been in the mirror.
Becoming a humble, grateful, and devoted man to a woman in a relationship
Becoming a humble, grateful, and devoted man to a woman in a relationship is less about grand gestures and more about rewiring your core—stripping off the ego and leaning into something bigger than yourself. It’s a deliberate shift from what culture peddles—self-first, option-chasing nonsense—to a stance that’s grounded, present, and real. Here’s how it breaks down.
▫️ Humility starts with knowing you’re not the center of the universe. She’s not there to orbit you; you’re in it together. That means owning your screw-ups—say you snap at her after a bad day, and instead of doubling down, you swallow the pride and say, “I was wrong, sorry.” It’s not weakness; it’s strength with the flashiness peeled off. Philippians 2:3 nails it: “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.” In practice, it’s listening when she talks, not just waiting for your turn, or pitching in on the dishes without being asked. Culture says dominate; humility says serve.
▫️ Gratitude is the fuel. You’ve got to see her—really see her—for what she brings. Maybe she’s not Instagram-perfect, but she’s got your back when the chips are down. That’s worth more than a filtered selfie. Studies, like from the Greater Good Science Center (2022), show couples who practice gratitude—thanking each other for the small stuff—report tighter bonds. So, she makes coffee? Say thanks. She listens to your rant? Tell her it matters. 1 Thessalonians 5:18’s “give thanks in all circumstances” isn’t just church talk—it’s a habit. Next time she’s doing something mundane for you, don’t shrug; let her know it’s not invisible. It flips the script from entitlement to appreciation.
▫️ Devotion is the long game. It’s not butterflies or grand vows—it’s choosing her when it’s hard. When she’s sick, stressed, or just not vibing, you don’t bail; you dig in. Ephesians 5:25’s call to love “as Christ loved the church” means sacrifice, not convenience. Think less “what’s in it for me” and more “how do I show up for her.” Faithfulness isn’t optional. In real life, it’s sticking through the argument instead of storming off, or planning a quiet night when she’s worn out. It’s not sexy; it’s solid.
Conclusion:
Pull it together, and it’s a daily grind: check your pride, spot the good, stay the course. Culture’s loud about chasing tail or flexing power, but this is quieter—less about you, more about “us.” A man who gets there isn’t just better for her; he’s better, period. Takes guts to swim upstream, but the payoff’s a relationship that doesn’t crack when the world does.
HIS CHARACTER, A REAL MAN
Praying in submission for guidance and wisdom, a true sign of a real man
03/15/25 PLM Patriot Lay Ministries
